Photo of Sam Jones

Sam Jones #1

Having once spent time in the underworld, it stands to reason that this person is, in fact, a demon, but the truth is they just enjoy ruining pizza, having no care for personal hygiene, and considering old technology as the cutting edge of cool. They are, as you might have guessed, skinny-jean-wearing hipsters, covered in tattoos and beards, drinking cheap mass-produced "beer" and saying such things as "the world once had style, but my mathematics instructor of grade eight had a compass he used to park his scooter" which just makes you want to punch them in the left eye. On the jaunty eyepatch.

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